Thursday, October 11, 2007

Parent Advice!

I need help! Sydnie has a friend (who lives really close) and they do everything together including going to school. This would be a good thing EXCPET her friend is the biggest brat! AHHHH. She has an attitude and back talks and disprespects everyone, including her mom. I have seen Sydnie picking up on these AWFUL habits and it is nearly driving me insane! Today Syd's teacher called and said they are both saying they are sick and crying and whining which of course they are NOT! I seriously feel my blood boiling because I KNOW it is her little friends influence!! AHHGGG. I know Sydnie is NOT like this. She used to be sooo SWEEEEEET! She is acting like a brat teenager and I am not ready for that! I try to limit their play together, but they still spend lots of time together and at school they are attached at the hip. I am really good friends with her mom and I baby-sit for her all the time. I don't want to offend her in the slightest but I need to stop this!!! WHAT SHOULD I DO!!?!?!?! It wouldn't be such a big issue but I have seen EXTREMELY inapproprate behavior from her friend and I don't want my child around that AT ALL!! Any advice? What so I do with Syd? How should I tell the friend's mom? I am SOOO mad!

Thanks for letting me VENT!


Megan said...

Oh - I really have no advice. That's hard - especially when the other parent is completely oblivious to their own child's behavior. I've been through it. And the same parent seemed to be on Port's case about little stuff, but let their child pick on him?? We ended up just leaving the situation, but I was boiling mad too. That mama bear instinct.

Oh, and just yesterday I was at the library and Porter was minding his own business playing with a wooden puzzle thing and some girl came over and tried to take it away. He was very calm at first and then got hysterical, cuz she wouldn't stop. The mom was not paying attention at all, and I didn't really know what to do except tell Porter to let her have it?? Anyway - she finally heard him crying and she came over and told her daughter to leave and then she told Porter "Just calm down!". I was thinking in my head, if you had been paying attention to your child this never would have got this far to begin with. I ALMOST told her that "Actually, my son was playing with it first" but we just left, since Porter was still very upset.

It's hard cuz you are friends with them and Syd sees her all the time. I don't know what I would do. My situation was a little different. We sometimes tell Porter that we have different rules than XXX does at their house, and we don't say or do those things in our family....but it's not a daily influence that he's around.

Part of it might be age. I feel like Porter can be disrespectful to me when he tells me "no" or yells at me when he's mad. But we have tried to be VERY consistent with time out and then taking away priviledges if he continues. He's grounded from the xbox for 3 days right now for not listening to me. And I remind him of that. Maybe you can find something you can take away from Syd if she breaks a rule (like yelling at mom) or make a chart and after 3 X's she loses a priviledge. And then do a positive chart for a reward?

Okay - I think I've written enough. Good luck. Been there. AM there right now!

Carrie said...

I don't have any advice, but thought I would add a frustrated sigh. Lainey is probably the girl with the 'tude that everyone else picks up on, so I'm in no position to tell you what to do.


Megan said...

Oh Shan that's so hard. We actually lost some friends when Emma and her play buddies started getting to the age when they needed discipline...and they weren't receiving it. And everything Megan said is what I would say too. Remove her from the friend when you can, tell them we have different rules, punish bad behavior, and reward good behavior. We had to give Emma a word for that kind of behavior so she could differentiate it from other behaviors. We call it sass, but you can use whatever word she knows. Oh I so hope something helps, that's such a hard situation. If it gets really bad, and you're feeling really bold, you could try talking to her mom...but that's kinda scary. Anything you say will offend the mom, no matter how much you sugar coat it. Good luck!